Fit vs. Fiction's Blog


My life with a binge eating disorder

Posted in Uncategorized by fitvsfiction on May 24, 2015
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Food is my weapon, impeccable aim

Won’t ease off the trigger til I’m writing in pain

Suddenly my skin feels 10 sizes too small

Can’t fit in my clothing, I’ve outgrown them all.

I nibble for pleasure, then binge into pain

Can’t stop the cycle, am I going insane?

My heart is in pieces, where it used to be strong

Try to fix it by eating, though I know that it’s wrong.

It’s like food is my savior, and sugar’s the cure

How much more of this madness, can my body endure?

The scale in my bathroom continues to rise

My spirit is dying, can’t muffle the cries.

The strong fearless woman that I used to be

Is quickly becoming a stranger to me.

“Not thin enough, not thick enough, not sick enough” they say

Yet I cry myself to sleep at night praying, “God, take me away”.

In a world where being STRONG earns respect and revere

It’s hard to feel weak and want to be here

My life with Anorexia

Posted in Uncategorized by fitvsfiction on May 24, 2015
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Alone I live inside my head, never wanting to leave my bed

On the outside so strong and tough, But inside never good enough

I spend each moment wrapped in fear, afraid of looking in the mirror

What power it has over me, it’s reflection is my enemy.

My bones are not distinct enough, my stomach still too round

I weigh my worth in numbers, hating every pound.

My body aches from hunger, and I relish in the pain

This war I fight within myself, is driving me insane.

I’ve finally hit my bottom, like none I’ve hit before

I can’t stand to live a life so painful anymore.

“Please somebody help me!”

I’m shouting every word

But my prayers go unanswered, my pleas are never heard.

Waiting lists go on for years, fees are just too high

My future looking grimmer, my life is slipping by.

But way out in the distance, though my eyes must strain to see

The light of hope is flickering, and calling out to me.