Fit vs. Fiction's Blog

Dear Ms. Venker: A strong man isn’t intimated by a strong woman

To Suzanne,
I know you’ve been getting some criticism recently for your outspoken views on the problems between men and women and I think it’s important that you understand why so many people find your theory insulting. I am a body image advocate and author. I work very hard to empower kids, ALL kids, with the tools they need tune out the negative stereotypes thrown at them by society and the media on a daily basis. I teach kids that they can grow up to be who THEY want to be instead of who they think society expects them to be. Here’s why I take issue with your theory:

1. Women should not have to appear less capable to be more desireable.

2. ALL kids should be taught to be proud of their accomplishments.

3. Little girls should be encouraged to try their best, not just hard enough so that they are achieving less than their male classmates.

4. Do NOT underestimate our boys! Our sons should NOT grow up feeling that they need to SAVE the woman their with in order to be relevant in the relationship.

5. You say that men need to be needed. I think you’re confusing need with want. We should be with our partners because we WANT to be there, not because we’d be helpless without them. The truth is, we may not always need our partners, but wanting them will keep us working hard to keep the relationship strong.

6. I agree that men and women are not the same, but respect should be universal and asking women to dumb themselves down is disrespectful to all of us. Why should women aim for the middle?

The point is there are so many different factors that make us attractive to others and that attract us to others and honesty is a crucial element in long lasting love. If only one half of the relationship is allowed to be true to themselves, genuine and authentic then both parties will never be truly satisfied. Acting the role of damsel in distress may get you a husband, but are you really prepared to stay in character for the rest of your life?


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