Fit vs. Fiction's Blog

Who’s in charge of “Pretty?” Who makes the rules? Please STOP!

Frustrated and sad

That’s exactly how I’m feeling today; frustrated from how incredibly shallow and insecure our society has become and sad for the kids who are growing up loathing themselves because of it.

I was 17 years old when my body image and eating disorders took hold of me, which is OLD compared to how young the kids are who are being affected by these issues today and it would be difficult to properly express how much pain my disorder brought to my life and how much joy it stole away.

I could practically be the poster child for Eating Disorders, as I’ve done it all. For over 20 years I nearly starved, binged and exercised myself to death and the grief I caused myself and those around me is immeasurable. There were times when I didn’t think I’d survive it, there were also times when I didn’t want to. Life was just TOO HARD.

But I found the strength to find the recovery I so desperately needed and have since made it my mission to help others avoid the hell that I couldn’t. Luckily, I’m not alone in this. There are several fabulous groups out there who are trying change the warped way our world views beauty and together I think we are encouraging people to judge themselves a little less and appreciate themselves a little more.

HOWEVER, for all the steps forward we’re taking in the right direction, there are too many forces adamant about holding us back.

This week alone, I had the displeasure of reading about the socialite who put her obese daughter, (I write  the word “obese” while rolling my eyes and growling in disgust, since the girl was NOT obese) on a restrictive diet ( I continue to roll my eyes at the word “Diet” since the food plan she came up will not only help her lose weight , but also any chance at  growing up with a  healthy relationship with food and her body) guided by her own body image issues. Then I read about the mother who gave her child a gift certificate for breast implants for her 7th birthday! Don’t worry, she wasn’t expecting her to get the surgery done at 7 years old, that would be bad parenting, instead she expects her to wait until she’s 16. Of course.

What is WRONG with people?? WHEN did how we looked completely overtake everything else in our lives as the MOST IMPORTANT?!  WHO decides what is beautiful and what isn’t and WHY the Hell do we CARE?!

Whoever you are…


STOP telling us we’re TOO fat or TOO skinny, our Boobs are TOO small and our hips are TOO big, our wrinkles are TOO deep and our hair is too gray, our asses are too flat and our stomachs too round!

Is it too much to hope, that if we stop listening, maybe they’ll all just go away…..?


8 Responses to 'Who’s in charge of “Pretty?” Who makes the rules? Please STOP!'

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  1. Rick said,

    Well said. As a guy who works with kids for a living, I can tell you that thinking starts pretty young these days.

    • fitvsfiction said,

      Thanks Rick!

      I speak to kids from Elementary school up through university and it’s amazing how this issue affects them all so deeply. Not just a kid thing, not just a girl thing.

      I won’t stop trying to make a difference..but sometimes I wish it were easier for people to understand that we need to start appreciating our bodies for everything they DO and not for how they look!

  2. Very well said. But if we can influence the media, even just one TV show or company, it’s a huge step already.

  3. Once again Marci, you are right on the money. It’s usually the parents who always decided what is acceptable. I can tell you from personal experience that being chubby was never a problem for me until my mother put me on a diet at age 10.
    I had a client once that asked me to edit out some footage because she felt she looked too fat and she thought her daughter looked too fat as well. I still shake my head at that one.

  4. sandraeamor said,

    Sigh…all I can do is sigh. Like Dana, I don’t think I had a problem with my weight or eating until others made me believe I should. It’s a hard enough world to grow up in without disordered eating and body image issues. Regardless what your age. Keep doing what you’re doing Marci. You are an inspiration and it’s encouraging to know there are people who care.

    • fitvsfiction said,

      I really want to know WHO decides what’s attractive and what’s not! It’s infuriating!
      Thanks for the support, I couldn’t stop fighting this fight..even if I wanted to.

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