Fit vs. Fiction's Blog


My mother’s Cheekbones

Posted in Uncategorized by fitvsfiction on June 14, 2011
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There were a lot of things I loved about my mother. I loved how comfortable she made my friends feel when they came over to our house, I loved how she’d pretend not to understand dirty jokes because they embarressed her and I loved how much she laughed. But the thing I picture most vividly when I think about my mother, are her incredibly defined cheekbones. I’d see them everytime she smiled and she smiled a lot. The amazing thing about that, is that life had given her very few reasons to smile.

To say my mom had a tough life would be a huge understatement; From marrying my father (A mistake she realized she had made about 5 minutes into the marriage) to their horrible divorce 18 years later when she became a single parent to my siblings and I while my father disappeared into thin air, to her own abusive parents who never appreciated the amazing daughter they had produced, to suffering through the loss of a child when my AMAZING brother,Billy got sick and died when he was just 21 years old. Life knocked her down, but somehow, didn’t hold her down.

A few months after my brother passed away, she was diagnosed with breast Cancer. It wasn’t the first time. She fought it and beat it; for awhile. Oh, and did I mention that my step-father, who she had met just before my brother had gotten sick and who had claimed to be a successful caterer was actually a bank robber who was wanted for 49 counts of bank robbery spanning 2 years? Yup, we found that out when he failed to return home after a “party” he was catering, only to get a phone call from the police telling us they had finally apprehended “The Satchel Bandit” and he was going away for a looong time. I kid you not.

My mother had every reason in the world to be bitter; but she chose not to be. Instead, she let herself LOVE and LAUGH and LIVE and showed me how to do the same. When she lost her Cancer battle in 1998, she was not ready to go, she had so much left that she wanted to do, and I can’t help but feel angry and sad for her. But, I know that to let grief and anger destroy my life would dishonoring everything she stood for and I owe her more than that. So I’m choosing to remember all the things I loved best, primarily how she made me feel incredibly LOVED every day that I had her in my life. My mother was Real. I’ve seen her get angry and I’ve seen her cry, but it’s her smile that I see when I close my eyes. Life’s been tough on me too; it’s punched me in the gut more times than I deserved, but I’m still standing because I want my kids to remember my cheekbones as well.
:o)

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