Fit vs. Fiction's Blog


Just when I start feeling like maybe It’s too tough a battle to fight…

I went through Hell battling my eating Disorder. I aliented friends and family,gave up on my dreams and put my life at risk far too many times to mention. This is not an easy disorder to get over, it sinks it’s claws into you and hangs on with all it’s might. It’s sneaky and mean and painful. I let my negative body image control my life for over 20 years and I will do whatever it takes to never go back to that dark place ever again.

But now saving myself isn’t enough. It absolutely kills me to see other people struggling the way I did and I know that it’s my responsibility to do whatever it takes to change the way we treat and see ourselves where our bodies are concerned.

But sometimes I feel like it’s just too tough a battle to fight. For all the experts I speak to and studies I read that support my mission, for every parent or child who comes to me for help because they know I understand what they’re going through, there’s still an inability for most people to accept the fact that obesity isn’t just about FOOD. Food isn’t the cause of the problem, it’s a symptom of a bigger one. But it’s so much easier for governments and school boards to remove food from the equation and think that they’ve saved the day.

It’s much easier to blame obesity on junk food and lazy kids with lazy parents than to tackle WHY it is that we have so much trouble finding balance with what and how we eat. BLAME never works. Shame never works. EDUCATION is key, but in order to PROPERLY educate our kids we need to educate ourselves.

Sometims I feel like maybe I should just give up. I should be grateful that I was able to reclaim my life and leave the rest of the world to somebody else…But just when I’m starting to question what I’m doing, I get a message like the one I got this week from a girl in the U.S.:

“Hi Marci,
I agree with you 100%. I am from the U.S.A. and here, there is A LOT of focus on fat especially in grades 1-8.
I personally have struggled with Anorexia that was caused by my school wanting us to be “healthy.” They weighed us and in a class we even had to write down our foods and calculate calories… When I first started losing weight, the teachers noticed but didn’t say anything. I ended up losing 50+ lbs (I wasn’t overweight to start with.. I was actually towards the lower end of the BMI scale with a 18.9 bmi.) After getting help and gaining the weight back, my mind is still not normal. It doesn’t make it easier for me to recover when I am in health class and our teacher is telling us to not eat cookies and ice cream.”

Schools should build confidence in our kids, not destroy it.

I will get frustrated at times and I will wonder if I’m too small a fish in a very big pond, but I can promise you that I will never give up trying to get the message out that SELF-WORTH SHOULD NOT BE MEASURED IN POUNDS.

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One Response to 'Just when I start feeling like maybe It’s too tough a battle to fight…'

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  1. John Pagoto said,

    Thank you for articulating your battle so eloquently.


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